THE SCRIPT

this is a script that I wrote out in high school. It was meant to be for a short film series that me and some friends were going to start up but this is as far as we got. It was meant to show highlights of what a normal day was like for us. all the events are based on true stories and none of the names have been changed except for the character of Mark because the actual person kept getting pissed off...you'll see... but anyways the format may be off a bit but I still find it hilarious to say the least...enjoy

Jake Free

Script

Untitled

Characters

Jake Free- Main character

Tony kardous (Anthony)-Main character

Mark Bigs -On the football team with Jake

Joey Lyons-disgusted listener, also on the football team.

Chad Fischer-Camera man

Opening Scene

* Jake wakes up. *shot on shoes being picked up*.clothes being picked up.*shower handles get turned**close up on clothes getting put on*

Jake gets in his car, drives to Tony's house to pick him up for school. He pulls into Tony’s drive way, picks up his phone.

(Ringing)

Jake: moan

Tony: Bawww (

(Hang up)

*Tony gets into the car they drive away to school.*

Scene Two

(Elvis music on radio)

Tony: Dude, I just ate a whole bunch of pop tarts.

Jake: Awww man I forgot to eat this morning

Tony:Shit man. You know what you should do? oh never mind i don't have any bananas.

Jake:Oh

Tony:Stupid Geo.

Jake: yeah

.................

*Tony opens his textbook to reveal a batman/superman comic inside.*

Jake: Hey, who do you think is better batman or superman?

Tony: Batman!

Jake: Pff why

Tony:Superman is a joke, he has every power there is, but batman there's a real man. Hardcore!

Jake: But that’s just it Superman is the best, hell I could be batman, just make me a big enough suit and teach me how to use the gadgets.

Tony:But Batman's rich, and has is own contributing company.

Jake:So... That just makes him a prick. Superman doesn't like to rub in his successes he quietly works at the daily planet. Which is just his nonchalant way of contributing to society behind the cape.

Tony: BATMAN! has his own hideout under his house.

Jake: What are you talking about Superman's got the whole fortress of flippin solitude.

Tony: Well yeah but as a superhero Superman doesn't fight anything probable.

Jake:What do you mean.

Tony:He just fights other super villains and monsters which cannot exist in reality, except for Luther, and nobody cares that much.

Jake:Well so does batman in the justice league.

Tony:Yeah but batman has fought against the penguin, cat women, the joker, two face, all those guys, who were real people.

Jake:Well yeah but those villains were just normal people who became mentally challenged and believed they had powers, but when it comes down to it batman cant fight against real superpowers.

Tony:Well....somebody has to fight the deranged retards.(looks at camera) What do you think?

Camera man: I don't know enough to speak intelligently on the conversation.

*They pull into the school parking lot, and get out of the car.*

Scene Three

Jake: Dude, did you hear about Mark?

Tony: No, what?

Jake: Dude the guy "fluffs his Garfield" into a bag.

Tony: What, like a brown bag.

Jake: No like a gift bag.

Tony: (in disgust) DUDE!!!

Jake: I know.

Tony: How do you know?!?!?!

*Camera panes to flashback*

Jake: I went to his house after school last Friday after school until we had to be at our game, I was just sitting in his room and he whips it out.

Tony: He whipped out his dick?!?!?!

Jake: No! The bag

Tony: He showed it to you!?!?

Jake: Yeah he called it his splooge bag or somethin.

Tony: Dude!

Jake: So I get grossed out and so we go out to his living room and he gets on the computer.

Tony: BAWWWWW!

Jake: Then he started lookin up freaky lesbo stuff up on youtube and gets this mean hard-on.

Tony: What the...

Jake: So then Mark runs into his room to "wax his turtle" or whatever and I'm left there at the computer by myself.

Tony: So what did you do.

Jake: (calmly) I changed my myspace song.

Tony: (excited) Oh! what to?

Jake: I don't know some veggie tales thing.

Tony: Oh, so then what happened?

Jake: Well about fifteen minutes had passed and I figure that's an above average amount of time so I went in his room to get him for the game, But when I opened the door he was sitting on the edge of his bed and had his pants around his knees, gripping his cock with one hand and the bag in the other.

Tony: BAWWW!

Jake: I looked away from him rather quickly but then I saw his tv.

Tony: Porn?

Jake: You would think, but all I saw was the food network.

Tony: Dude, he was wackin it to the food network?

Jake: Yep.

Tony: What the.....

Jake: And get this the bag he was using was one of those new gift bags that play music when you open them.

Tony: (mortified) What the....
Jake: Yeah apparently this one plays wild thing.

Tony: Why the heck does he use a bag? Is he trying to collect it? Doesn't the bag soak it up?

Jake: That's what I said but he said it keeps the stains off the floor.

*Camera panes back and a whole group seems to have surrounded the two listening in on the story.*

Joey: That is one sick bastard.

*Mark walks up to the crowd*

Mark: Whats goin on guys?

*The crowd looks at him with disgust and walks away*

*Mark looks at Jake with a very low amount of self esteem*

Mark: (Angry) Dude quit tellin people!!!

Jake: (Angry) Dude quit doin it, its weird!!!

Mark: (depressed) Dude

*Mark walks away*

*Jake and Tony walk into school but then passes by a red car with a front Superman licence plate. Jake hits Tony and jesturs to it and smirks.*

Tony: Baw

(Credits)

Batman vs. Superman

This is another speech i did for my high school speech class, tackling the age old question, "who is better batman or superman?" and while it may not have gotten as good of a grade it was still funner to do and I think better for society.

Batman Vs. Superman

Speech by:

Jake Free

Throughout the years many conflicts have come about...right and wrong, black and white and now batman and superman. This argument of who is better, batman or superman, has been going through the comic world for years now, so much so that they even have their own comic together and although the argument is fictitious some still feel the need to defend their hero's. I however take the side of Superman.

It's Just plain logic. Superman is a better hero, has better powers, and he's an all around better American. While batman has no powers, superman has them all making him an all around better "Super" hero without super powers you are not a superhero. *Look at this page of the batman and superman comic you can clearly see that they have to go save the world but oh whats this? Batman has to hold onto Superman while they fly to the location because Batman can't fly...how pathetic. Some say that having all the powers is cheap and unfair to his foe's but this is not true. Superman didn't ask for his powers it's just the way god intended it. So if you don't like Superman you must have something against god.

Superman understands how to use his powers as well. He uses them for good to protect the planet of earth from suffering the same fate as his home planet krypton which blew up and killed everyone. While batman uses his non-powers for vengeance for his parents death and if it wasn't for the joker killing his parents there wouldn't be any batman to begin with, so in a sense isn't the joker some what of a good guy for creating this hero. The answer is of course...no, because Batman is retarded and he knows this. Look at it this way the Joker killed his parents, there for he made batman, and now batman wants to kill the Joker in revenge for making him live as the batman. The name doesn't even make sense. Batman? Bats are weak creatures that hide in caves. The only interesting thing that a bat can do is fly and oh that's right batman can't fly, and he's afraid of bats..w.t.f. Now superman can fly witch is just one more ability that fits his name superman and its all still safe for the environment.

While some may argue "oh yeah, oh yeah Jake well Batman's got a kick arse car. Which is also another negative for the batman fan's. The bat mobile is a very stylish vehicle no doubt, but seriously imagine how much gas that thing must take to shoot out flames. Plus it pollutes the environment killing us all minute by minute, and if killing us wasn't enough it is also the reason why we have global warming, which causes us to listen to Al Gore whine every...single....day.

But moving on lets look a little bit more at the history of these two "superheros" superman has been around longer. Heck he's the true traditional American hero. Superman has been around even before there was any wars between countries, when life was pure and everything was in order he was, and still is the ideal superhero. Everyone could look up to him...but then the wars erupted and during these dark times the comic book writers felt there should be a darker hero to fit the current times and so batman was created. A lot of people like batman because he's just one of us and we can relate to him, but where is the fun in that? Heck teach me how to use some fancy gadgets and give me a big enough suit and I could be batman.

A lot of people don't know this but Superman is also a christian he'd have to be though he's one of god's greatest accomplishments. But batman? Pff Batman is so vein when it comes to god as you can see he is referred to by himself and others in his comic books as the godd@mn batman.

Now let's talk about the evil these two protect us from Superman protects us from monster's and Lex Luthor who wants to rule the world and has enough intelligence and ph. D's to do so, and if your argument there is "oh yeah Jake well to bad monsters aren't real." Then my response to you would be to get a girlfriend and become a man because need I remind you that this whole argument isn't real?!? calm down! now...we can all agree that superman is good and protects us from very harmful things. Now batman...he doesn't fight anything worth mentioning... he fights mentally handicapped people...and its not cool to hit mentally retarded people. Go ahead name one enemy of Batman's who wasn't crazy. The penguin was a deranged politician, the riddler was driven mad from the pressure of working at Wayne Enterprise's, and the madhadder well I think the name speaks for itself...so even morally superman fights the right people for the the right reasons and Batman's just going around....hitting the mentally disabled people...like its no big deal.

Now lets look at their jobs. Superman works as Clark Kent in the daily planet while batman works as Bruce Wayne at his own business, Wayne Enterprises. So Superman works quietly in his newspaper office as Clark Kent, still helping the people by giving them information through the printing press and batman works as Bruce Wayne the conceited guy who rubs all his successes in everyone's face. Sorry we all can't just fall into a pool of our parents inheritance and become crime fighters.

So in conclusion I think its safe to say that superman is hands down the best superhero between the two...Now just raise your hand if you think batman is better...that's right... I told you it was hand's down.